Onion News Network

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News Room   /  The Onion: ‘Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat’

News Room   /  The Onion: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys

News Room   /  The Onion: ’9/11 Conspiracy Theories Ridiculous’ – Al Qaeda

News Room   /  Warcraft Sequel Lets You Play A Character Playing Warcraft

News Room   /  The Onion: Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is ‘Totally Badass’

Election ’08   /  The Onion: Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election

Today Now!   /  The Onion: Disney Geneticists Debut New Child Stars

News Room   /  Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

News Room   /  FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful